I can't catch up. I keep waiting for everything to pause so I can prioritize and elaborate (or belabor, as some may see it). No dice. It's not even as manageable as "one thing after another." It's all at once. A regular 40 ring circus with the potential for new start-up rings - mid-show without notice. Some rings are bland, some are uproariously amusing, some are morbid and sad, some are annoying, some are gut-wrenching, some are fun, some are infuriating.
I'll just pick one, then. Newest one. Addie will have a laryngoscopy, tonsillectomy and possible adenoidectomy on May 28th. I know - routine surgery. But it's her third major surgery and I now feel we've weathered enough of them to declare that it does not get any easier to consider.
The fact that she is having it because of severe obstructive sleep apnea leaves little room for mulling the should we/shouldn't we question, but that just frees us to consider all the other details.
She will stay overnight, something she has not had to do for previous surgeries. She will be in pain and she will not understand why we allow it. That's the old news. But at least there will be no casts this time, nothing but the hurt to keep her down afterwards.
We knew it was coming, but putting it on the calendar lops of that wild, secret hope I must have had that this would heal itself, that it would just go away on its own. Alright, reality. Lay it on. No such thing as ready, so have at it.
On the upside, I have a few handy words/phrases new to my lexicon as of today:
laryngomalacia
argon plasma cauterization
propophal
roxicet
What if I had nothing but a dictionary at my disposal? Shudder to think.
I know she'll be fine. Hopefully better than fine, if this takes care of the issues. It's just a hard thing to do, as many of you know too well, to give your child over to someone with a sharp instrument in their hands. To have to sign on the line where it says they can use that sharp instrument on your child. To take your hurting child home in your arms, fumbling with sheets of instructions and warnings about giving her pain meds, but not too much, warnings about how she'll dry up if you don't give her enough to drink, about how much of a fever is too much... all while she looks at you, groggy, glad you're holding her, but maybe confused about why you let this happen to her.
Lucky for us, she's the most forgiving person we've ever encountered.
4 comments:
I have a list of future surgery that we probably have i front of us. I hate it, but it seems everything is always ok.
Willbe praying for beautiful Addie when she has this sugery.
I can't promise you she'll be fine...I won't insult your intelligence or mama-bear instincts. But she's our trooper and I believe our kids experience pain differently than we do, moreso than just a high pain tolerance. Prayers will go up that she will have minimal pain and that the results will be immediate and LIFE-CHANGING!!!!
Thanks, guys. Tena, your comment about it being more than high tolerance for pain made me really think. There are 2 interpretations of that phrase - one, that they don't feel pain as sharply as the rest of us might or two, that they feel it just as acutely, but rise higher above it than the rest of us. I think the former is almost always assumed, but the later is what is evident to moms and dads of these kids. Great point. Thanks for the wishes and prayers - they've arrived and have already begun their work.
Terri-
I will be praying for our sweet little Addison. I will also be praying for the surgeons that they take the very best care of Addie. I will also being praying for you and your husband, you are right, it is so hard to hand our kids over to people with sharp instruments. I am praying...
Post a Comment